失語

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Blood is on the Square
Phillip Morgan

A song was heard in China
in the city of Beijing.
In the spring of 1989
you could hear the people sing.
And it was the song of freedom
that was ringing in the square,
the world could feel the passion of
the people gathered there.
Oh children, blood is on the square.

For many nights and many days,
waiting in the square.
"To build a better nation"
was the song that echoed there.
"For we are China's children,
we love our native land,
for brotherhood and freedom
we are joining hand in hand."
Oh children, blood is on the square.

Then came the People's army
with trucks and tanks and guns.
The government was frightened
of their daughters and their sons.
But in the square was courage and
a vision true and fair,
the Army of the People would not harm
the young ones there.
Oh children, blood is on the square.


On June the 3rd in China,
in the spring of 89,
an order came from high above
and passed on down the line.
The soldiers opened fire,
young people bled and died,
the blood of thousands on the square
that lies can never hide.
Oh children, blood is on the square.

For four more days of fury
the people faced the guns.
How many thousands slaughtered
when their grisly work was done?
they quickly burned the bodies
to hide their coward's shame,
but blood is thick upon their hands and
darkness on their names.
Oh children, blood is on the square.

There are tears that flow in China
for her children that are gone.
There is fear and there is hiding,
for the killing still goes on.
And the iron hand of terror
can buy silence for today,
but the blood that lies upon
the square cannot be washed away.
Oh children, blood is on the square.

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每年五月底至六月初，心情鬱悶悲傷焦燥不安難過雜亂無章，常常一不小心，眼淚就會掉下來，無法述說感受，或感受的來源，然後只能是無邊的抽泣或沉默。

這60多年來，每一個中國人的命運都與歷史緊緊扣連，「解放」前後、土改、政治運動、民革、開革「開放」、89民運、權貴資本主義，在大陸；撤守台灣、戒嚴、228、解嚴、三任民主選舉，在台灣；難民潮、67暴動、社福政策、再來難民潮、工業北移、中英談判、主權移交、貧富懸殊，在香港；逃難、知識分子回國建設、再逃難、政治庇護、移民潮、為祖國驕傲，在海外。大歷史如此。

屬於我的小歷史，仍然無法敍述清楚，傷口不是已經結疤隱隱作痛而是血肉模糊疼痛難忍。就像此刻，失語中。